A Ripple in The Pond and Compassion!

  I am writing this blog, to help a friend, and maybe someone else out there. I want everyone to always think, before speaking and always show compassion. If you dont know what to say, say..something simple, like, You're in my thoughts. In 1995 my husband's brother Mike took his life. Mike was born a day before me, we probably were side, by side, in the hospital nursery. We grew up together. It was 2 days, before his birthday, he was 26 at the time. When i seen Mike he seemed happy, he was a great uncle, he loved the kids, and they loved him. I only seen happy Mike. I did know he was unhappy with his life, at that time, but i had no idea what was to come. Mike and i got into a fight a week before. He wanted me to take him somewhere, i said."Mike, i am a mom!I have responsibilities! I will not take my kids out in a storm, to take you anywhere!" Damn, i wish i did! He got mad, and called me awful names. I hold a grudge, a long time. The last time i seen him, was in a public place, and i faked the fact.. i was still angry,thank God. We talked about, spending our birthdays together. I cut him short, i wish i would of given him my time, hugged him, done something, that made a difference! I was the one to get the call from the firemen, informing me the carbon monoxide tester was going off. We only lived around the corner at the time, so i met the firemen at the in laws house.We walked around the house, i was right by the garage window, why did i not look in? I wouldn't let them break in, the tester had been faulty before. I blamed myself, i could of saved him. It took me years..When i went to college for Forensics, to learn.. 2-3 breaths till unconsciousness. 3 minutes to death. I was too late anyway, yet i still held guilt, for my in laws driving into the garage after a two week vacation, to see their child dead, sitting next to his car, in a chair. Imagine how bad it was, after two weeks in a hot garage. Trust me it is bloated, monster looking bad! I was the one to get the phone call late. I woke up to, Ricks mom screaming, in complete terror. " Mike is dead.. get over here now!" All i could think is, it is a mistake. I was the one who had to tell Rick about his brother. I felt guilt, anger,sadness..broken! What did i receive from a lot of people in our small town? Compassion? Hardly.. Stories of horror, lies, blame for our family. I wouldn't leave my house, not even for the grocery store. The first time we did, we heard someone in the next booth, at a restaurant saying, what a bad family we were. Oh, hell yes..i gave it to them. He died of depression, a disease. If it was cancer, he would of been a hero. I was severely depressed, just like all of the family. I got pregnant, and found a little bit of happiness. Then we lost one of our triplets, in 1996. How much more God? When Mike died, life changed, it was a big ripple in the pond. Mike would never fall in love, never marry, never hold his own children. None of us, would ever share any of this with him. Our family was changed forever..BROKEN!! Yet people were nosy,and hateful. Not all, but a large majority. The thought of anyone else going through what we did, makes me tear up. We cant get this back, and it changed each and every one of our lives. It really changed Ricks other brother, Brian's life. He was 9 months older then Mike. He was never the same, after Mike's death. He left three young children. Where did he go? I dont know..

Brian Scott Wilkinson


Above Image: Wilkinson, circa 2001

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Vital Statistics at Time of Disappearance Missing Since: January 21, 2001 from Streator, Illinois Classification: Endangered Missing Date Of Birth: January 31, 1968 Age: 32 Height: 5'11" Weight: 200 lbs. Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown/Black Race: White Gender: Male Distinguishing Characteristics: Mole on right side of face. Medical Conditions: Unspecified medical condition that requires medication. Clothing: Jeans, black leather jacket.

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Details of Disappearance
Wilkinson parked his vehicle near a church at the 300 block of East Bridge Street in Streator. It was found abandoned sometime later. He was last seen at 1:30 p.m. at area businesses he frequented.
In the summer of 2001, two legs were found. One was in the Illinois River near Spring Valley and the other in the Vermillion River. DNA tests showed the legs were Wilkinson's. Police are investigating the new information. At this writing, the rest of Wilkinson's remains have not been found.