Dont Touch My Junk

                                                    
Today was the day to sign up, the boys for high school. Two boys doing everything at the same time, is a pain. They wanted to do it alone, without their mommy. I figured why not? I cant even get one of them to brush his teeth, a great learning experience for the critters.No sooner do i drop them off, I get home, i get in the tub, i get a call. "Mom we need proof we have a Doctors appointment, or we cant sign up!" I gave you the phone number, of the new doctor. Do you not have it?" "Yes, but they have to see a card!" I mean, hell i called and made the appointment over the phone! I scream in the phone..."Tell them to go *&%$& themselves, i want a bath!!! Zach says. " Do you really want me to say that to them?" I told him it is probably not the way to start a new year off, at a new school. So i tell them, i will call the doctor who is twenty minutes away, and pick them up, and we will figure this out. Well turns out the doctor is out for the week, the office is closed! Sigh!! So, there was no chance of having information faxed! Is this school trying to kill me? The boys get mad and said, " This is your fault mom" I morph into a crazy woman,  and a squeaky defeated voice comes out! " You said you want a new doctor, because the old one touched your junk too much! I did what you asked of me!" Noah says. " I once went in for strep throat, and she asked to see my privates. It is kind of the wrong end, don't you think? She didn't even look down my throat! I think she is attracted to me, in an unhealthy way. Zach butts in and says, " She doesn't want you.. she was just checking to see if you are maturizing! (<-- thats what he called it.) Then he says, "ummm, so we have a guy doctor now? I don't want no guy to have a handful of my junk! I would rather have the woman touching my privates!" "Noah, what the hell did you do to me? You want some wrinkled up dude, touching your shit?" I scream, "Don't say Shit...Damn it!" Then Noah said, " I have a friend that goes to a guy, and he only asks to look at his piss! I roll my eyes and say,  "So the plan is we are going to call the old doctor, make an appointment with her, and then figure out , just who it is.... that will be touching Your damn shit!" In Unison they scream...Don't say shit! ARGH! We get to the doctors office to pick up the doctors card, from the original junk grabbing doctor. I tell Zach go in and pick them up. He say how do i get there.The kid has been there since he was born!! I tell Noah to go in with him.Noah says," Just great Mom, when we ask for the cards she is going to tell us to drop our pants, so she can examine our junk!" They leave, to go into the building. I hold my head down, and support it with my hand. I am so frustrated at this point.A few minutes later, i look up and see, both boys at the front of the jeep with their pants unzipped!! They smile, give me a head nod, zip their pants up and climb into the jeep. Zach says, "Was that good for you Noah?" Let me just say, this was the most teamwork i have seen in awhile from those two. I give em two thumbs up!!