I Pee Glitter!!

I go pee a lot, i mean A LOT. Friends can attest, to this statement. When Savannah and I got to Target the other day, i had an "I GOTTA GO MOMENT" We go in to the bathroom, it smells like the foulest odor...nature could come up with. I take Savannah in the big stall, with me, because i do not know... what kind of creature that odor came out of. While i was peeing, the occupant of the next stall was farting. Every time she farted...she coughed. As if the cough could hide the loud ruckus.. that was exploding out of her ass. I think NOT..... my farting, bathroom neighbor! Savannah says out loud. "Mommy, does she think we can't hear her?" I say "shhh!" Then I bite my lip, because any second..'Imma going to lose it!' This is a new, way to pee yourself laughing peeps! I try to finish up, my side is splitting, as I am trying to pee, and not laugh..try it sometimes! It takes talent. The lady goes on with her chorus of  toots, crop dusting, and trumpet sounds. Then the recurring coughs. Savannah says. " Mommy, I feel like I am at a fart opera!" I want out of that bathroom as quick as possible, i feel embarrassed over, Minitards conversation. I wipe, stand up, and Savannah screams. " Mommy, Mommy!!!! your pee is the color of pickle juice, are you going to die?" Thank you GNC for the vitamins, that scare my child. I say. " Mommy ate a whole jar of pickles, before we left home. You should try it...Everyone who is cool...is doing it. I wash my hands, because my daughter reminds me loudly. I say. " Because the sign says workers have to...doesn't mean i do!" I whine loudly in protest! Thank gawd we got out of that bathroom alive. Today when Savannah got home, i had a plan. I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and spilled a bottle of pink glitter in the toilet. I screamed in panic mode. "Savannah, Savannah!! My pee...look!" She looks down and says. "What the heck mom, there is glitter in the potty, what did you eat now?"  I say... "I ate a unicorn!" :)