Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Full mOOn Came Out Early!


Tonight i wanted a little fun time, with Rick, and the kids. I felt like crap, and maybe the hot tub, with three beers wasn't a good idea, mainly, because two usually does me in. We are very excited to have a working hot tub again. The stereo, and the TV started working by themselves! Well, i helped!! I kicked them and called them names, it is a secret from the redhead creed. Kick shit, cuss, and it works!Don't tell, cuz that would be secrets from my club.We collected a new redhead boy today, i dont remember his name. We shall call him ginger snap 8. I tell him i am glad to meet him, and welcome him to the realm of the redheads, my secret club. Don't go telling people about it. I am always surrounded by blondish people, and it can be hard. Ginger kids, spread like bunnies around these parts. Sometimes they belong with the twins, but mostly Molly. She has a thing for redhead boys.Someday, i might get a redhead grandchild, hopefully not soon. I think i have scared the fear of children, in the older kids, since these last four have been little jackholes. Since Molly got McLovin she told me. " Mom, i understand the devastation of teen pregnancy. I have had the Lizard, one day...and he is kicking my butt, i dont think i can take care of him, I am too young to be a Lizard mom." I got pissed and yelled! "Too bad, you committed, now you have to pay!" "Next time leave your cage doors shut!" She looked at me like i was nuts, and said "Geeze ok!"  Each one of the kids, had a friend over tonight. After several rounds of WII Dance Party, eating, getting in the hot tub, then making somores. Everyone went in, and left me with a roaring fire, and a big mess. I went upstairs, took my swimming suit off, and put on a white t-shirt, no bra, and a short billowy, skirt. My body was still wet, so i didn't bother putting panties on. Maybe TMI.. I am sorry. It is dark on the patio, i figured .. no one would know. I turned the lights off on the hot tub, turned the heat down, and shut it down. The song i hate, hate, hate came on. Adam Whats his name " What do you want from me" but as i picked up the mess, the song sounded fitting, so i left it on. I went on and picked up the papers, threw them in the fire pit, Started collecting dishes, and put them on a platter. I Took the recyclables to the bins. I noticed next to the fire, someone left the Hershey bars, so i bent down to pick them up. What happens...you ask? My damn skirt touched the fire, and it started to burn. which is stupid, because i watched the kids like hawks around it, and now here i am. Being irresponsible.I pull the skirt down, jumped out of it, and start doing this "Oh my god i am on fire dance! I pick it up, and then throw it in the fire. Charlie starts barking like a maniac, i try to shut him up, because i remember... i dont have panties on, and I dont want the kids, and their friends seeing my naked, bum. I search for something, anything, as this small dog follows me around barking, like he is nuts! I find someones stray towel, wrap it around my waist, thinking i could get away with the ignorance of it all. I pick up the tray full of plastic cups, full of pop, and kool aid. I go to the door, walk in and realize...damn windex is good stuff. BOOM! Someone shut the door on me. Let me remind you, if i would of begged them to shut the door, they would of forgot. I spilled the pop allover me. my hair was soaked, and i looked like i was in a wet t-shirt contest, and i really, really won. So 
the kids come running,  Looking like a big dummy, with this stupid little dog still barking. I am still holding on to the tray, trying to hide my wet see thru t-shirt. Then i feel a pull on my towel. Charlie is tugging on the back...i let go of the tray instinctively, so i can hold the towel up, and boom dishes everywhere!! At least no one seen my  bum! Moral of the story... I dont think there was anything moral about it. My face is still red.. Maybe it would be safer, if you kept your children far away from this house! Just sayin'

2 comments:

  1. you have been boozing all day haven't you?

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  2. negative, i am on antibiotics and i feel like crap. Maybe i should of boozed all day!

    ReplyDelete