Savannah is a Drama Queen. She talks, and talks, and we could go on forever. Sometimes she wakes me up, to tell me something that happened last year on the playground. Savannah and her friend just started a new club. It is called the Kiwi club.The club has many, many rules. I hear the rules so many times a day, my head is like a bobble head doll. She asked me if i had a club when i was a little girl. I said, " Yes, the Fight Club and the number one rule of the club was...don't talk about the club, and i think your club should have the same policy!" Savannah has requested the privilege of going to Vacation Bible School again this year.She goes with her, adopted Grandma, a woman who has been in my life since i was a baby. She is like a grandma to my children. She has her own grand kids, but they live far away. So, i let her take my kids for a spin. Savannah asked me to go see her perform in the "Bible" program again this year. I have to think of a logical reason, why i can't, because i am not going through that shit again. Last year i went and it smelled like old lady ass, burnt chili, and feet. Zach asked me how i knew what these things smelled like. My answer went like this. " I am an EMT none of those old ladies, ever fall with underwear on, two i am a horrible cook, three,there are your shoes right there!" When i explained to Savannah, " I can make something up and lie to you, so i don't hurt your feelings. I could be a good mom, and sit through the whole program and feel uncomfortable, or i can be straight up honest with you, your 7. I took you to see the Smurf movie today, and i love you. I love spending time with you, but i cannot go to the church again and smell feet, bum, or burnt chilli. I am not willing to subject myself, to watch little kids pick their noses, and sing made up songs about Jesus.It's not who i am, and i have to be true to myself, or i am lying to the big guy up there!" I have been a parent for 24 years, and i have put up with a lot of messed up, gross things. I just cant...i am sorry! I will do anything else for you, short of buying you a pony...please just understand! Don't make me feel bad. Savannahs come back was this. " Mommy you should smell the basement, where the little kids go. It smells like tears and pee. I'm not asking you to go down there, am i?" "Plus,there is only one old lady this year, so it wont smell like bum as bad!" "I have learned a lot of things this year, and i would like to share with you mommy." I say. " If it is something cute like Noah's animals, Jesus making wine, for crabby parents, or the birth of baby Jesus...i am willing to listen, but no talk of torture on a cross! Who would tell a small child about that anyway?" "The church did mommy, and they said God gave his son away to save us, from our sins, because he loved him so much! At this point i was hot, so i thought... i am going to mess with this kid, for my own entertainment. I ask Savannah is there something you are hiding from me, some sin you committed, besides your messy bedroom. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, and dodged the question. Then I say, " Savannah I love you so much, i would never give you away to anyone, or let anyone hurt you. If God, was so powerful, why did he not figure something else out?" "Mom, it's like that time when we were at the mall, and i was 5, and you thought i was walking behind you in the store, and i walked away with another family. Then you freaked out and started screaming for me. Then the people brought me back, God brought Jesus back!" Let me state.. that was Molly who walked away with another family, not Savannah.Savannah held on to me so tight, she was afraid of her own shadow. Good luck with passing that off as your experience kid!Tomorrow when the adopted Grandma, and anyone asks..is your mom coming? My child will be brutally honest, as usual. She will explain the reason i am not coming, and maybe they will get a new cook, and some new air fresheners! The child cannot lie! Not even if you suggest she not say anything...She will always say in front of the person involved. " Aren't you proud of me? I didn't mention one thing about _____! Holy Hell!
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