Monday, June 27, 2011

Dressing Like My Granny

I am very sleepy this morning. I was woke up early,around 2am to..."Why do you come to bed dressed like your grandma? "What?? My grandma, wears your boxers too? When did you sleep with my grandma? I demand to know!!" Just some random thoughts to get you through your work day, some questions i ask myself? Ponder on them..if you like. Feel free to add lib!
There is one for each hour of the day...

1. Why are some people such assholes?

2. Why must they migrate towards me?

3. Sure i have been wrong once, when was it?

4. Why was it i... even woke up this morning?

5. Why do my children fight, and call each other ugly, when they look so much alike, except the adopted one?

6.Why is it everything that is REALLY fun in life is illegal or just morally wrong?

7.What if all the morally wrong things in life were really right and the right things were wrong?

8. What is the hokey pokey all about?

9. Do i have to grow up?

10. Why do i have to be the mom?(dad, etc!)?

11. Where has my youth gone? where do you go, to demand it back?

12. Why is it everything that is bad for you... feels and tastes so damn good?

13. Who made the rules and how can they be changed?

14. How hot is it exactly in hell?

15. How cold is a witches tit, or a well diggers ass?

16. Why am i wasting my time wonder theses things?

17. For all those times my mom wanted me out of her hair..why does she call me so much now?

18. Why cant there be re-rolls when we get the wrong outcome?

19. What in life made me so dark and twisted? feel free to fill in your own faults!)

20. I know why i have to wear a bra, but why did woman have to get the boobs? Men are the ones that like them!

21.Why is it so hard to be a woman? When it is so easy being a man? Is there really a trade off?

22. Why is it men can go out and have sex with anything and it is super ultra cool. Then they call the girl they are with (or sheep, baaa) a whore? Who is the whore baby?

23. Why is it when your married your husband likes sex better when your sleeping. ( I am talking about getting woke up smart asses) are we really more attractive when we have are mouths closed and are not bitching?

24. How come when we were little we wanted to be grown up, now that we are older... we want to be young again?
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5 comments:

  1. BearJune 27, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    25. Is it wrong to snicker at 400 ls people riding the electric carts at Walmart ? Especially when you walk by them on 2 prostetic legs ? Just askin.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ChickyJune 28, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    Damn girlfriend, you need a girlie vaca away from it all -- You can come visit me if you want. Not that Joisey is the place to go on a vaca but I'm here, and there are some cool bars on the shore ;-) Just sayin'. HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  3. JulesJuly 3, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    If someone says the slept like a baby, does that mean they woke up crying with shit in their pants?

    ReplyDelete
  4. JulesJuly 3, 2011 at 4:53 PM

    Your "dark and twisted side" is so harsh. I prefer the term "wild side"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Todd McKenzieJuly 4, 2011 at 11:31 PM

    If #7 end up being true, I will be so pissed!
    Btw, Picture of Granny is great. Wasn't it weird when she let her hair down? It was to me at age 7. Now, that I think about it, Lily Mae may have been my first crush. Loved it when they switched to color, especially scenes by the CeeeMent Pond! Sorry must google Pics of Lily Mae now...if I pass on unexpectedly, I've already asked my besties to delete all my google search history...can you imagine someone trying to understand one's google searches?

    ReplyDelete

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