No bones about it.

A few weeks ago i got an MRI scan. My back has been killing me. It was not my finest moment.

I was given medicine to take to relax me, because I'm very, very claustrophobic. Medicine, no problem, I can do this thing, right? Wrong!

Monday morning comes, I'm rushing, rushing, like every other morning, before this morning for the last  hundred years!

I manage to get out the door, ten minutes before the appointment started. Success!!! I hear the sounds of angels singing.! The theme to Rocky plays in my head! Winning!

I arrive on time and have to go through a check list of the things before I get into the MRI tube. Tube, oh crud, I feel nervous. I start going through a check list.

Do you have a metal plate in your head, I wish! The stories I could tell. The airport would be hell, though. I check ...NO

Do you have any metal screws or bolts in your body? I think of Frankenstein. Ha Ha! I wonder how many days until Halloween? I check....NO

Are you claustrophobic? Hell yea I am! I check... YES!

Did the doctor prescribe any medication for the procedure? I check....YES!

Is there any comments you would like to leave for the technician?
-------------
Yes, I forgot to take the medicine prescribed! Oh my God! I'm going to die. Wait, I'm a BIG girl. I think I can do this!

Long story shortened. The lady,who was very understanding gave me my options and explained, squeeze the ball thingy, if you need to come out. Do not try to get out by yourself, you will get hurt.

 OK, Here we go. Feet first.  I got this. Put me in, I'm not going to act like an idiot. The lady pushes the button. I slowly start moving forward, my feet get into the MRI tube. Oh my God!!! I'm going to die. Panic! I can't breath! My feet can Not breathe! Get me out, get me out! Now! The lady, gets me out!

Maybe music will help, she says. She shoves music in my ears with a stethoscope looking thing. The music plays for two seconds, It's the song Kryptonite, I hear the lyrics " the dark side of the moon." I squeeze the ball. She says, you aren't in yet. I think music is a bad idea, just put me in. I'm going to try really hard. I can do this! Now I know, with this condition, I can never be an astronaut.

Why the hell am I thinking this? I've never considered being an astronaut, I didn't even want to see the movie Gravity. Oh my God! Having your face covered up in a space helmet would be scary, like being stuck in a damn tube. Holy crap, I'm in a tube.

Think of something so you Dont freak out. Hurry! George Clooney was in that movie Gravity, he is kinda cute. Think of George Clooney!

Third attempt. The table starts moving into the tube, she gets my feet in, all the way to my knees. Oh my God! Help me! Help me! Get me out! Get me out! I can't! I CANT! She says, you can let go of the ball now you're out!

At this point, I feel like a complete ass. She gives me my options, one being leave and reschedule.
 I said, can you just get someone here to drug me. I want to take a magic carpet ride! She explains they can't, even though the hospital is full of all these drugs, that would do just that. She said no!
 Can't someone just trip, while holding a needle of something?

So she gets an idea, maybe we can blindfold you, so you won't know where you are. You can pretend your not in there. Think of a happy memory. I'm so going to know I'm in there, Lady!

The tube moves forward, I Dont want to come back. Never! I gotta get through this somehow. I pretend I'm in a tanning bed, I start to think about a happy memory, but all i can think about is all the stupid things the kids have done, in the last week. I begin to get uneasy.

My knees start to twitch. I think. You gotta do this, everyone is judging you. Easy for them to judge, they aren't stuck in this damn tube the size of a straw. I'm going to so buy myself a milkshake when I'm done here and a stinking happy meal. Seriously, I'm bribing myself with McDonalds, like a child! I want nuggets too.

I start to breathe deep and i decide to meditate. I hear a thump, thump, thump. I think wow, this is kinda like a drum circle, this could be relaxing. Then the loud thumps come, like a bunch of angry, hippys high on LSD. I wish I had
LSD right about now. Wait, I probably dont. I'd have some bad hallucinations while stuck in this tube. Holy shit, I'm in the tube! Like all of me is in this tube. I should squeeze this bulb thing!

Then the ladies voice comes in the tube, like an angel. Stephanie how are you doing? I'm OK. Why the hell did I just say, I'm OK! I'm not OK. I want to flip over and climb the hell out of this tube. Then I thought, I wonder if that has ever happened to her before?

I see visions of some crazy person, clawing their way out of a tube. Ohmigawd! How would I even flip over? If I do this, she will tell everyone and everyone will think I'm nuts. No, not think. It will be confirmed.

Pretty soon, I start thinking wild and crazy thoughts like, cremation maybe a better option for me, considering there would be no escape plan in a coffin, at least this tube is open on two ends. I start to ponder, why can't my mind shut off, ever? Am I even normal?

I managed to get through it. Out of pure will and strength, oh an the fear of being judged. I got a happy meal to award myself, inside my bag was some joke of a toy, a Lego cup. At least it could of been a good toy. I remember looking at the cup thinking, that would be one heck of a shot cup. I still have it. It is like a trophy for a girl that spent 45 minutes in a tube.
No bones about it, I will never get into that tube again.

A FLIP FLOP SALE!

I was yanked out of my bed at 5am, to get my husband's new purchase, a car,6 hours away. We fought all the way there, since we've been together since I was 13, we do this well. If we aren't fighting, better be prepared to check our pulses.

Two things have been decided, from the fight. I have asked him," If there is such a thing as reincarnation, please do not follow me, or find me in our next life, I am so damn tired of you!" His response, FINE!, we are no longer going to die on the same day! Me, OK FINE!!! He always asked will you remarry if I die first? my response, you can't leave me, we will die on the same day, but not NOW! Bastard!

So, I drive my car back, which has been decided is cooler, then his. I know how to work my navigational system. I thought it was sure fire, so I thought.

Three hours away from home, it starts saying " Stay left! Stay left!" OK, lady I've been driving straight for hours. Then out of the blue, turn right, turn right! I miss the toll and my turn, Rick makes it. He leaves me for dead.

I start to freaking panic! I have night blindness from my tour in Vietnam. Two Indians cornered me in the jungle, and shot my right eye out, with an arrow. They almost shot my horse, it was the brown kind. Not the Indians, the horse. The other eye was blown out of my head in 69, but woodstuck was worth it, and so was that weed, in the mother, flipping, defective bong! Damn hippies!

I call Rick he gives me directions, which would be a solid, if I could read the signs! Sigh... I tell him how he let me down, that he agreed to take care of me 26 years ago, he falls to his knees and cries... NOT! No, he doesnt! He already said. " We no longer will die together." :( With his driving, this is yet to be determined.

So I go to another damn toll both, damn Highway works! I tell the guy, with the orange hat, and lazy eye, that looked out left, while his other eye looked down at my breasts.  " Hey, I missed the last toll!

He says, Hello, I think your beautiful. I'd like to stick my penis in you! He reaches down to the ground, hands me a pink paper, that he wrote his number on. Poor guy's eyes are so bad he only gives me three of his digits. 1.50 I scrunch up my face and I say, what????

He says, " 0h, sorry! I said, hold on, my pen is in my shoe. I'm going to write down the toll amout for you! So, I say....so you don't find me beautiful? He gives me a quizzical look, I give him 60 cents, to forget all that craziness and then I slip down in my seat and drive away.

So I find what I think was my exit, but it LIED! I wind up in a wooded area, I pull over call Rick, he tells me to reset the navigational system. I push the button. Say a command....

I say navigation,....she says you can say navigation, climate, address, point of interest, line in, line out you can say help! By saying help, you will receive a list of commands. I say NAVIGATION!  She says, you can say..... I say, F you, you F'n WH*RE! She says, I don't understand! At this point, I'm no longer sane! I bang my head, stomp my feet 10 times!

I start to think, Stephanie she is a computer, you're letting a computer, make you go bat shit crazy. I stop. Deep, cleansing breath. She's not a computer, there is some midget, evil entity in there, with a voice changing megaphone. I know this to be true!

I sigh.... collect myself and I have a text message, I read it. It's Molly. Ohmigawd there is a sale on flip flops at Hollister and she wants my credit card number. Then the phone rings, Noah calls me while standing in front of the refrigerator,  he needs help on finding something to eat.

The decision is made...I'm going to just live here. I have a half, of bottle of water and $5.10 cents. Yet then again.... I have to get home! There is A FLIP FLOP SALE!

2 Stars and A Parent Fail.

This was a first time mobile blog. Fingers crossed, legs too...I gotta pee!

This was not the best week ever, i give it 2 stars, one because it's Friday, the second, because I survived. I seriously, need the weekend!

Monday, sucked. The youngest has been hounding me since December, to make this gingerbread house, it came in a kit, with candy. I dread it, I've dreaded it from the moment she asked to buy it, way back in December. I remember saying to my self, " Hey, dumbass, thats going to suck, you'll wind up with frosting in your hair,crying, left for dead, putting balls on the gingermen, while the kid gets bored and leaves, for bigger and better things!"I think I need the vacation to New Orleans bad!

I've had so many scenerios go through my mind. A gingerbread crack house, with graffiti. A crime scene with red frosting, gingerbread men with blue, bubblegum balls, the bigger the better! I think I need therapy!

On Monday the kids were hyper, after school time is hectic, everyone gets home at the same time, all five of them, all loud and at me. I should really start drinking, around two, but I don't like booze much, I fail at alcoholism. I really need a martini!

Anyway I have Molly, hitting me up with the latest, from the drama of the day club. Then she is doing the cup song, which consists of a God awful screeching sing song, and slamming of a cup on the table. I flipping hate the cup song. I need earplugs!

Eric was trying to tell me something, Zach was telling me his girlfriend has strep throat, Noah said it makes sense now and said his throat was on fire, gave Zach a look, with a big grin and then Zach laughed, went after Noah and then there was a wrestling match, right at my feet.

Then it happens, Savannah says, " Can we make the Gingerbread house now? What do I say, ohmigod, I say. " Fuck that gingerbread house!" Eric's mouth drops open, Zach and Noah stop wrestling,  with their mouths hanging open, Molly jaw hits the table, the cup goes flying, Savannah looks like she's going to cry, with her mouth hanging open. My jaw drops, my hand goes to my face and covers my mouth. I say, oh Savannah I'm so sorry! I promise that's going to be the best gingerbread house ever, it will have bunny peeps and eggs and it will be the best EASTER gingerbread house EVER! I need to run and hide!

Tuesday morning Blackie Chan had eaten, my 1,000 dollar Nikon Camera manual. It was 9 am. These things don't happen so early. By spring, i will finally get through that manual, as i clean the poop grave yard up. A new meaning to F Stops. (Camera terms, a new F word.) I need a life!

Soon after that, I put my slip on boots on to leave the house, I have to run back up to my bedroom, because I forgot my purse, I notice my boot feels wobbly, I dismiss it, because shit like this is peanuts in this house. I go up, then go to walk down the stairs, I loose footing, because my damn, asshole dogs are humping each other on the steps, I start to fall, clutch on to the top step, Blackie Chan licks my face, I let go of the step, to block the lethal smelly licks, BOOM! BOOM BOOM! I wind up at the bottom of the stairs, with no pride in tact, then I notice the boot, is by my head, with a missing botton. I'm sure that button, will be found early spring too! I need a love affair! I wonder if my husband is available?  Hmmm...

Wedsday, Savannah had an early morning appointment, so I said she could just stay home, because there was only an hour left of school. Her brothers in high-school got off early too, only problem was, Savannah didn't. She didn't lie, she didn't say she got off early....she just didn't divulge the truth. She said, she didn't know how to break it to me. How about, " Today is not a half a day of school mom?" Then I told her I might have to do jail time, for child neglect and aiding and allowing hooky.She hid for hours. I needed that break!

This was not the only issue, with Savannah's free Wedsday.I sent Molly an angry text message. "Where the hell are you?? You had no permission to go anywhere, you were to come straight home!" Molly gets home at the scheduled time, all confused and said. " I was at school! Was I not suppose to be,? This is when I look at Savannah and my head hit the table. We need a new table cloth. This one is so sticky, I almost had to call the fire department to rescue me.

Thursday, hellish of doom hits, I am  nasty, and the bitch, I have struggled to become all my life. I am tired, the husband has not been sleeping, and he keeps me up. I hate everything, everyone, and I am questioning my sanity. I have read if you are worried you're crazy, your not! I think I am, wait am I? I THINK I NEED COMMITED!

The Snow Woman

For three long years, my girl and me waited, and waited to build a snowman. We prayed, did snow dances, threw pennies at the full moon, checked Weather Bug constantly. Then finally, we got snow! We ran through the house chanting, " Snow, snow, we got snow, whatcha know, whatcha know!" The family was less then pleased at this display of enthusiasm. Mainly, because both dogs, were howling and crying, chasing us.

 So, being lyrically talent doesn't really run, in the Wilkinson household, we have other talents. Like being able to pee on the ceiling, when we are aiming for the bowl. Like destroying a clean house, in less then 15 minutes. Then there is the most talented one in the family, the King of the Wilkinson Family. He can fall asleep in a matter of seconds, no matter what he's doing. Sad, for me, but true. Ok back to the story.

I thought to myself, hell, this is going to be the biggest damn snowman ever.The best damn snowman in the whole damn land! We shall put it in the front yard, so the whole world can enjoy it. We will become the most famous snowman builders in the whole world.

I try to envision tan, men only wearing G-strings, oiled up, lifting us up, and carrying us through the neighborhood chanting, how amazing we are. No matter how many times I tried to envision these guys,the sun was blinding, my ta ta's were cold, and all I could get in my mind was midget men in oversized diapers, trying to pull us in the orange, plastic sled, Savannah would of out grown, three years ago, if we had snow.

We started to roll the balls. I had this cartoon image in my mind. Perfect round balls, easy peasy. Just roll the ball like a ball of dough and it will magically, become bigger, perfect and round. Instead our balls, looked like a walmart shopper,  in white lycra pants, with big cottage cheese lumps. Our snowman was going to have a weight problem, like the rest of America. It also had grass in the ball, so it looked like a hairy mess. Kinda like my legs looked in the month of December, I loved them damn leg warmers.Why did he make me shave them, they were my damn legs!

This snow person creating is not for the weak. My back was breaking and I almost died. The second ball was done and then, I realized... yeah, I am not going to get this damn belly ball, on the bum ball. So  I did what every wise person would do, I called a man. He was a manchild, but he lifts weights daily. He looks at me, like I was the dumbest person on earth and said, " What is wrong with you? This ball weighs about 15 lbs. you're suppose to pack it after the second ball." I explain, that's not what I seen on T.V. He got all nasty and lifted the ball and said. " I don't get you!" Like he was the first man to ever say that.

He goes towards the house to open the door. At this point we have an audience of neighbor people, watching the muscle man, lift the big boulder, snow tummy. The dogs wind up getting lose, so Charlie winds up running up to the snowperson, he lifts his leg and drenches it with his custom made, yellow, liquid. I was thinking Savannah was going to cry, but she just laughed.

 Soon both dogs were excited over the beautiful, cold glistening snow. They got so excited they start to hump each other. You have never seen anything stupid, like this, until you see a black dog with pink, ponytail bows, humping a male dog. So we have a major, hump session, both dogs are fixed, but they have not lost the urge to try. If we could only bottle up that exuberance, we would be rich!


So after the mini porn show, is over and everyone is done laughing, we move on to the head. At this point in the game, I decide not to roll it and just pack it. I try to make this thing look normal. Savannah is trying to throw snowballs at the yellow snow, to cover the wee. I am just trying to achieve something that looks like a face. We finally get a finished product. Find a scarf, some ear warmers, to cover the fact, the now SHE, has no ears.

We go get the kids, from inside to have them come out and look at our snow women. We know they will be so excited, the only one that comes out is Charlie, he goes over to the snow woman, sniffs and lifts his leg.
In the end....We did it!! We created the most magnificent wonder, a snow woman. We called her Crystal, and she shall guard the house forever....well until the next day, because I made her so big, she was top heavy, like me and she fell over. Now she sleeps, like I wish I could.

 

I Am Woman I Am Tired!

 I am a woman and I am tired. I have grown eight children in my body, seven successfully. Three of those children have reached adulthood, my job there is almost done. When my life is over, parenting will be complete.The other four, are welcome to leave at any point. I am willing to issue pardons. I am too damn tired for this shit.... I want my person back, I want me back!I want my body back! Hell, I will take someone else's body, preferable someone with a smaller chest!

 Oh my God i am so much work! My nails are done, both on my fingers and my toes. It is March and we have a foot of snow, you know how uncomfortable it is, wearing flip flops to impress people? One of my toes appears to be darkish, it might be frostbite, or the fact I have so many children and a needy husband, named Stan.( I am protecting Rick's identity, by calling him Stan, he doesn't want to be embarrassed.) If I stubbed it, i will never remember.

  I had hairs ripped out of my eyelids last week. Afterwards I had to check and make sure I had skin left in that area. It felt like my face was ripped off. Hats off to the women, with a furry caterpillar living on your face, just laying there from hairline, to hairline. Go you, for sporting that mother, flipping furry thing like a trophy.

 My hair is colored and highlighted. I might have gray, but I will never really know, what is under there. I get it done every two - three weeks, so I dont have to face a single silver, gleaming hair. I dont want to be reminded how old I am. I dont have time to have another nervous breakdown, I am in the middle of one right now. I need to finish this one first. I have hair like a rock star, it weighs 20 lbs and it has a mind of it's own, sometimes I find myself pulling at my hair, thinking my mophead parents, should of never procreated.

  It might look like little mermaid at the moment,but my hair is done. I have a strong suspicion, my hairdresser is taking hits of acid right before my appointment. When Zach seen it, he did a double take and said, " Your hair looks amazing!"  Molly said, " Are we trying to be Carly Rae Jepson now?" Then the husband, who will be called, Biff, to protect his identity, came home and he wouldn't even look at my hair. He acted like he didn't notice, until I screamed, "My hair is the color of fire, dude! Quit acting like you don't notice!" Long story short, he didn't like it.

 The appointment before I had weird yellow streaks, on each side of my head. I got home and the oldest son looked at it , jumped on a chair and screamed " Kill it mommy, KILL IT! I struggled to cover that for a month, I used hair chalk, pink and purple. it was a colorful month. I rocked those damn streaks!

I have not yet wore, even one wrinkle on my face. I know, because I obsessively check every morning. In which time one appears, that shit will be filled with some kind of calk. I stress from time to time wondering, if I am not happy enough, because I dont have any laugh lines, around my eyes. Usually, I get laughed at, I don't do the laughing, humor always hits me later,way after the fact. If I laugh later, the guys with the white jackets will come.  

I have a large wrinkle on the right side of my butt cheek, what the hell is with that? It is plenty fat back there. I spend a lot of time looking at it in the mirror, lifting the upper area of my fat bum up, to see no wrinkle, then dropping it down, the wrinkle is back. I had visions of fat transfer, to make it even. finally I have come to the conclusion, if I ever have to explain to anyone, what that cavernous pit on my ass is,  I will claim it is a wound from the Vietnam war. Then I will be a heroine.

Yes, what I am sporting under my chin is real, only a mentally ill porn star would pay for these. They are smothering, there is no such thing as perky, when they are this size. It's like putting a 50lb ball of bread dough in the palm of someones hand, when they have an outstretched arm. The arm is going to drop. No doubt about it. When I am at my smallest weight, I look like barbie, with her legs cut off at the knee, I am height challenged. When God said get in the line for height, I was talking to someone.... blah, blah, blah and got in the line for boobs a second time. I also, missed the line for common sense, and got a third dose of boobage.
  
Last and not least, to answer the most asked question. Yes, these are my eyes, I tried to steal a pair from the crusty old cadaver, in the college basement, but they were dried out. So, I stuck with mine. One final thought, the only other people in the world that has eyes, the color of mine... is the vampires that glitter and get paid millions for a cheesy love story. I was golden, with my man made eye color, until that movie came out. In the height of the fame of the movie, people would look at me, back up and put their hands on their neck. 

It is very hard to be  a woman... 
 

The Potty Journal

Noah moved the TV in my room today, to hook a cable up. He found a small silver key, taped to the back. When he asked me what it is for, I couldn't recall. It looked like a fuzzy handcuff key, a suitcase key, no wait....a diary key. Then it hit me. The Potty Journal.

Before blogging was a Big thing, I would write my innermost thoughts in a brown journal. Then I would hide it in the cabinet above the toilet. I never felt the need to lock it up.
After several weeks of doing so, my husband seemed to know what was going on on in my life. I didn't think anything of it. I thought wow, how intuitive.

After coming out of the bathroom, he seemed to know what was bothering me, he would say, "I know how you feel about this, or that and you're wrong to feel that way." SAY WHAT?

There was times, I could hear him laughing in the bathroom, still no clue.
Then one day he was taking a call in the bathroom. He comes out with a piece of paper and put it on his bedside table. I looked down and realized,  " HEY, that's my journal paper!" He tore a page off and wrote on it.

So for several months my journal became, potty reading material. Did I confront him, you ask. No, I began to write down things for my own benefit.

1. If Rick would just give me a nice back rub tonight, I'd do this!

2. Rick acts like a complete manchild if he would just do this and that...I wouldn't be so crabby.

3. I'd be so grateful if Rick would ____!

For a few months I got all my needs met, until he admitted to using it, for potty reading. It was good while it lasted.

Im Keeping My Pimp Hand Stong!

This blog is pretty, much pertaining to Facebook. Each and everyone of you are on my list, because i feel like you add something to my life. Some of you are total whack jobs, i have come to expect this, appreciate it and look forward to it.

Some of you support things, i do not. We like different things, we have a different religion, we have a different stance on politics, gun control, and the use of profanities. I personally think naughties are sentence enhancers, some dislike them. Whatever you believe, or whomever you are, I could care less. If you are kind to me, ill be kind to you!

What i am saying is, i dont care if you're gay, or straight. I dont care if you are an Athiest, Catholic, Christian, Jehovan Witness, Jewish, Pagan, A Spiritualist, Wiccan,or anything else, i didn't mention.  I dont care if you're a Democrat, Conservative, or Republican. ( I put this in alphabetical order, so no one gets offended.) One thing i do care about is if you try to push these things on me. I can not be converted, i do not wish to be. I am Stephanie and I believe strongly in Stephanology.

Another thing i care about, is my friends. I value them very much. I care about peoples feelings and how they feel about themselves. So here it comes! Ready?

1. If someone doesnt like you and they block you. Don't harass them. Do you really want them in your life, if they dont want you? Walk the hell away. Take pride in yourself, find someone who appreciates you and give them your attention.

2. If someone doesnt like you, dont have your friends attack them. let it go. It's catty and ignorant. We are not on the playground people, we have evolved!! Personally i was in a relationship like this with a chick, for years. It got ugly, we were stupid! I wasted so much energy on hate, a strong hate, that sucked energy and the life out of me, energy that could of been aimed at a healthy activity. Luckily after years of toremnet... from both parties, i got it. I went to school got my degree and walked away. This person is a good person, we are just not good together. When we walked away, from each other, it felt like a 300 lb man jumped off my shoulders. I do not hate, i do not wish harm, only happiness.

3. Dont be catty, everyone has something you dont, you have something they dont. No one has it all, No one! Instead of being a bitch, or bastard to others, find some quality in that person you like and compliment  them on it. They will feel good about themselves, which inturn you will feel great, for making them feel good. With the exception included in # 4.

4. Sometimes there is a exception, to number 3. There is going to be that person that you cant get along with, the person that makes you quiver and feel ill. Hopefully it's someone you don't have to see, or this person isnt being pushed on you. If you know this person makes you feel like this, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM. They will make you physically and mentally ill.  Do not have friends attack them, do not involve others. I know you have that special person you need to vent to, thats ok... Do not Fabebook anything you wouldn't say to someone's face.

5. If you live in California, do not threaten someone in the East Coast. Airfare is expensive as hell! Dont waste your frequent flyer miles. Go on a vacation, get some R&R and get unangry! Life is to short.

6. Do not blast others. If you have a bad employee a bad renter, a bad landlord, keep it  between you and them. If you have a mortgage, the bank employees cant talk shit, your employer cant
talk shit, neither should you!  Give people privacey. There are laws and you could be prosecuted. If two people have changed their minds on how they feel about someone, because of something you said...you can find yourself in court. Im rusty on my law, so we will leave that there.

7. If you see people talking shit about someone, you can be damn sure they talk shit about everyone, including YOU! Some people do this, because they are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired! So HALT!  Try speaking joy to people for 24 hours, i can quarentee you will have a better day and sleep a lot better.

8. Never believe you know the whole story, to two people's squabbles. Try not to get involved, doesnt mean you cant listen and offer incouragement. That's ok.

9. Everyone has a LIFE situation they have to deal with, before i do anything i say these two things to myself, sometimes i feel a bit fucky and i want to attack, i wont lie. I get angry and i want to cast out a million, horny,humping monkeys..to have their way with that person, but  before the befuckery is realeased i think.

1. What challanges does this person face, are they dealing with disease, depression, family, or financial problems? Do they need more shit, to deal with?

2. Can i handle this situation by walking away?

3. Did they really make me feel bad, or was it someone else that gave me this feeling? EXAMPLE. There is a man in a porsche, You are behind him, running late and he's going slow, as a constipated turtle. You start to yell, if you own a car like that, drive it like you deserve it!!!!! You dumb _____! Then you notice, he is driving behind some incompetent person, having a conversation, about who she got with last night. She is the cause, not that person. <==== That really happened and I got it!


So the Big Anouncement is this:

I dont need a bunch of numbers to feel good about myself, If you talk shit about anyone, YOU ARE GONE! This isnt the place . If  you harass someone...GONE! I dont care if we are beasties, if you post  the  best cat pictures in the world, if you tell the dirtiest jokes, or flatter me and tell me how awesome i am. I wont be friends with nasty people. Shape up, you know who you are. If you have to question if it is you....it probably is you! If you dont intend on changing...remove yourself. Everyone deserves a second chance, a few people are hanging by a thread and im holding the worlds biggest scissors.

I ask you as a favor, if you read this blog....please push the like button on the FB link. I am thinking about blogging daily, but if i dont think people are reading...ill find a different outlet.
Thanks Everyone.